With this ring… Exploring Second Life Weddings

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes —

An image of a two couples kissing at their Second Life wedding

“3” by Curl Swindlehurst, click image for her page on Flickr

Last night I was invited to be my friend’s Maid of Honour in her upcoming Second Life wedding. After I instantly and wholeheartedly accepted, I got right down to the serious business of Honour Maidening in Second Life Weddings.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit however, that despite my lofty appointment, I have never even attended a Second Life wedding! Talk about under-qualified! But being the intrepid woman that I am (at least in Second Life), I’ve jumped into the planing of one with both feet, figuring they can’t be nearly as complicated emotionally trying affairs as weddings in RL, right?

I like context, which to me means that I like to know something about the history and background of things before I attempt them. So I decided to a do a little bit of research into the Second Life wedding thing, because to be honest, I feel like I don’t even know what I don’t know.

I’m not talking about partnerships here, I’m talking about weddings. While I can’t seem to find any hard data (how reliably unsurprising), my diligent profile surfing over the past five years tells me that partnerships in Second Life are fairly common. Introduced in 2004, a partnership is “a vanity display for social purposes only (and) does not alter in world permissions, group abilities, support benefits, and so forth” according to the SL Knowledge Base entry on the subject. For $L10, you can effectively buy a license to display your partner’s name on your profile. Dissolving the partnership costs $L25. Being partnered however, doesn’t necessarily imply that you’ve had a wedding, or even that you’ve gotten “married”.

Clearly, Second Life Weddings are a big deal:

  • A quick search on Google for the term “Second Life Wedding” generates over 57,000 results, including links to machinima YouTube videos, personal stories, and of course the usual “my husband’s/wife’s SL relationship broke up my real life marriage” listings.
  • There is a magazine that focuses on the subject of SL weddings, complete with advertisements for venues, dresses, animations, accessories, and decor.
  • There’s a Second Life Wedding flickr pool featuring over 500 images of of nuptial bliss.
  • The Second Life Marketplace will offer you over 50,000 products related to “Weddings”.
  • The most expensive wedding dress on the Second Life Marketplace I found is being offered for L$12,000 (that’s over $50 USD), so this stuff doesn’t come cheap.

For both men and women, a wedding can be one of the most memorable experiences in one’s life. I wonder how this vivid emotional experience compares and contrasts to its digital counterpart? Are these experiences similarly impactful or significant? Besides the obvious, is there anything missing? What’s augmented? Is it role play? Or does one actually come out the other end feeling “just married”? Does one’s self concept, or one’s view of a second life relationship change during or after the event?

I’m hoping to hear from other people who have had first hand experiences either attending Second Life weddings, or have had their own, so that I can pick their brains on how these things work – socially and mentally. So please, if you’re in that group, or have heard a few stories from a friend of a friend, or even if you simply have an opinion on the matter, do let me know. I’m all ears!

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20 Responses to “With this ring… Exploring Second Life Weddings”

  1. Yordie Sands
    2012/08/17 at 20:08 #

    /me blushes. I got married in SL once. My fiancee wanted it. I thought it was silly. He spent well over US$100 on it. And that didn’t include any expenses for the wedding or reception venues. It could have easily been three times more expense. But here’s the thing… erm, it was wonderful. It was magic. I know it sounds silly to some, but it was the best day I ever spent in Second Life. Jus sayin

    • Yordie Sands
      2012/08/18 at 18:49 #

      Ok, I see that VB pulled out her wedding pics, so here’s mine.

      Wedding
      http://yordiesands.blogspot.com/2010/12/our-wedding.html
      Photographers Photos
      http://yordiesands.blogspot.com/2010/12/wedding-photos.html
      Reception
      http://yordiesands.blogspot.com/2010/12/tak-yordies-wedding-reception.html

      Geez, only 2010. It seems like an eternity has passed.

      • Ravanel Griffon
        2012/08/18 at 19:30 #

        Wow, I had no idea, Yordie! When I met my current boyfriend in LotRO (about 2 years ago), he wanted an in-game wedding as well. Just like you, I thought it would be a bit silly, but alright, since he wanted it… We actually had already organized a friend who would do the ceremony, maids of honour etc… but somehow we never pulled it off, and I don’t think it’s ever going to happen.

        I’m okay with it, though: instead my boyfriend moved in RL to the Netherlands and went living with me. Not much to complain about! 😉

        (Weddings in LotRO don’t happen that much as in SL, though. I have never heard of one on my own server, where I know most people. It might be more usual on RP servers,

        http://casualstrolltomordor.com/2010/11/giving-your-own-one-ring-a-lotro-wedding-guide/ )

        That said, I *love* your wedding pictures. And it’s cool to hear that it was such a special and wonderful day, even though you thought it would be silly. Perhaps I did miss something after all. 🙂

        • Yordie Sands
          2012/08/18 at 20:33 #

          Hi Ravanel… first, I found the LOTRO post to be fascinating. I have so little experience in other games, never really get past shoot’em up phase usually. Back in olden times I did, but not in the past ten years.

          Yeah, it seemed so silly when my guy proposed the wedding. I thought he was joking, which kind of surprised him. I think, in this way, guys are very romantic.

          I’ll bet you’d be surprised how wonderful an SL wedding or any virtual wedding can be if you just let go and hurl yourself into it. It does take a great deal of planning and saying your vows is a total nerve wracking experience, but if you love the guy, the experience almost has to touch you deeply. And hey, you can be more relaxed, in your jeans and a sweater, sipping a soda while it’s all happening. hehe

          Even now you two could do it. Just sayin’

          • Vaneeesa Blaylock
            2012/08/18 at 21:25 #

            Oh nice one Yordie!

            Now we’re gonna have to get LotRO avatars to attend this thing! 😛

            (if, like, we even get invited! O_o

            • Yordie Sands
              2012/08/18 at 22:03 #

              Like, if. Like, even. chuh, yanno?

  2. Eva Marie
    2012/08/21 at 15:43 #

    This is super interesting! The Boyfriend also mentioned that he thought an in-game wedding would be cool (we met on WoW, and I haven’t been around for a few days because he surprise visited for my birthday haha!)

    • Becky
      2012/08/21 at 15:50 #

      If you’re already together in RL, then a virtual wedding might be the ultimate dress rehearsal, short of the expense and time involved in an actual wedding. I would imagine that you’d have a much better feeling as to what to expect (between the two of you at least) and how you handle disagreements of this nature if you were to do that first. Good idea!

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