Recently, iRez publisher Vaneeesa Blaylock tagged me with this, “Yordie Sands also dares to talk about something so many peeps are curious about, but sometimes too shy to ask or write about: Virtual Romance!” And it got me thinking.
The Romance Expert
Is that what my writings have done, painted me into a slot as a virtual romance writer? Anyway, I did some unscientific Google searches and noticed that there’s far more pointers to my Second Life romantic exploits and “romance” writings than there are to my life as an adventurer.
Ok, if I write about virtual romance so much, that makes me an expert, right? Heh!
So, I’ve decided to run with this romance thing for a while longer, even though I haven’t had a serious relationship with anyone since mid-2011. In fact, my goal is to stay aloof till at least 2013. *smiles* Ok, ok, ok, let me take my credentials as a virtual romance expert and address one of my pet peeves with virtual romance, guys don’t know how to date women.
The Gender Imbalance
Maybe many guys don’t know how to “date” women in any world, and that’s a whole subject in itself and for another day, but in a virtual world like Second Life there a gender imbalance that helps make dating obsolete. The gender gap simply means there are far more women than there are men, especially when you include men who have chosen to be virtual women. Perhaps 15-20% of men have female avatars but 3-4% of women are men.
It is a buyers market for men in Second Life. And too often, there is some desperate woman willing to hurl herself at every man she can. For many guys that might be just fine, in fact great, but not all guys are just looking for sex. And while that’s another subject we could debate, you have to recognize that virtual guys do marry virtual women in virtual worlds and this is a commitment of love. Unless a guy knows he really wants to know a particular woman, he doesn’t have to ask her out on a “date.”
Is Dating Possible?
Virtual worlds like Second Life are more like meeting places where virtual people hangout, when they have spare time. And virtual worlds like World of Warcraft are more focused on missions and improving your rankings, when you have spare time. For many virtual people, the idea of doing anything that requires planning, especially anything at a specific time, is just too demanding. And for many married virtual people who are looking to spice up their lives, often their activities must be done in secret. I don’t have anyway of knowing, but it seems the majority of virtual peeps have more than one time constraint.
So, is dating even possible? And what is a virtual date anyway? And for some it’s, what is a date?
I’m sorry to say, in virtual worlds “dating” seems rare. I say this because I’ve talked to a lot of women. Most women settle for meeting guys in nightclubs. And most of the time, a girl will have to initiate a chat with the guy, if she expects to have any luck getting to know him. Of course, if the girl dresses like she works in the sex industry she may get guys who chat her up, but I’m not sure that’s true either.
In many cases, dating isn’t dating at all, it’s hanging out hoping someone will dance, someone who won’t start grabbing your ass in the first 15 minutes.
Dating is Possible!
Dating is possible in a virtual world, but perhaps dating is more suited for a world like Second Life because of all the couples activities there. The truth might be, a virtual date should be very much like a real world date where the guy asks the woman out, picks her up and takes her out for the evening or whenever. Of course, the same thing applies to girls taking girls out or guys taking guys out.
Yes, “Dating” is possible in a virtual world like Second Life.
The thing about a date is, if you think you are interested in someone romantically, asking them out is a way of showing respect. There’s an implied romantic interest too and maybe this is the reason dating is almost extinct in virtual relationships. As long as everything is, I’ll see you when I see you then there’s not much interest being shown. I think a lot of that is because so many guys are just afraid of being rejected if they do ask a woman for a date, this is true in virtual worlds and real life.
P.S. – There’s one other thing, I don’t really think I’m a romance expert. heh!