S&TVC – The Girlfriend

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes —

It’s been a couple of months since I wrote about the new direction I was planning for my second life, a step into Second Life’s sex culture. I was attracted to the idea of a “date auction” but hadn’t really thought about how I’d get there or where this would lead. I simply jumped into the adventure expecting I’d discover what I need to know along the way, and that’s how it went. But before the holidays I needed a rest and time to ponder my discoveries.

Being An Exotic Dancer

I began stepping into the sex culture by applying for work at KamaSutra Exotic Dance Club. My friend Canary Beck, “Becky”, was the owner and she opened many doors for me. She trained me in the rules of the club and coached me in the use of the exotic dance animations. Most importantly, she introduced me to the art of gesturing. I enjoyed being a KamaSutra exotic dancer, especially getting to know the club staff and guests. In fact, I was surprised at how easy it was to engage the guests and I found the club was fascinating.

In many ways flirting through gesturing is the stock-and-trade of exotic dancers. And while I found it easy to be outgoing and friendly, I  struggled with the gesturing. Maybe my problem was that I’d never been at ease in flirting publicly. For most of my second life, I had reserved my flirtations and intimate talk to private exchanges.

Photographer Yordie Sands

That’s me at my first Wet T-Shirt Night
at KamaSutra Exotic Dance Club.

The Date Auction

The activity that drew me to KamaSutra and the highlight of my time there was the “Date Auction” event. Shortly after I started working, it was announced that an auction would be held in December. I looked forward to participating and once I got my poster up, I encouraged a couple of guests to bid on me. In the end it came down to two gentlemen who bid me up to the middle of the range. It wasn’t a competition, but I really didn’t want to be at the bottom.

On an evening in mid-December there was a formal party at the club. Most of the dancers wore their silks and many of the club’s male members came in tuxedos. There was excitement in the club as girls tried to get their bidders to bid higher. There was activity in all the rooms and then came the announcements of the winners. Unfortunately, my bidders weren’t there, so I wasn’t sure what would happen next. But then Becky notified me that my final bidder is the winner. I was thinking “Yay! I got won!” *smiles*

It was also the night Becky announced the closing of KamaSutra! The announcement was shocking. But Becky quickly reassured everyone that there would be a new club announced early in the new year but, dispite pleads for hints about her plans, she didn’t reveal any details. Both Harvey and Becky seemed very confident though.

Photography by Yordie Sands

Yordie & Bella on stage dancing, closing night,
at KamaSutra Exotic Dance Club.

The gentleman who had the highest bid for me was a guest I’d met on several occasions at the club. I was happy that he won and looked forward to our date.

Shortly after the auction and just before Christmas, I found myself dancing alone at the Christmas Pavilion at Calas Galadhon. I was hoping someone would come dance with me when I saw my bidder come online. So I invited him to come dance and he joined. We chatted about this and that and as the evening evolved I discovered he was an accomplished man in his real life. It didn’t really surprise me because I’d learned that most of the quests at KamaSutra were what I’d call “quality” people and not stereotypes.

My date and I danced for a several hours before saying goodnight. Before parting he asked if this was our “date” but I assured him it was just a friendly Christmas dance, no charge.

Photograph by Yordie Sands

That’s my ‘Date Auction’ winning bidder and me
dancing at the Calas Galadhon Christmas Pavillion.

The Girlfriend Experience

Several years ago I watched a CNBC special report called “Porn: The Business of Pleasure”. The program focused on familiar highways and byway of the sex trade, but it also included a peek into something different. That something is the Girlfriend Experience.

The “GFE” is different from the services of escorts or call girls. This service is for men seeking the pleasure of a companion and lover, a girlfriend. This girlfriend is different from the type of girlfriend a man might meet through normal dating. For one thing, the man sets the rules for the relationship. But also the man must be able to provide generous support for his girlfriend.

For men and women interested in romance, this type of connection may sound antithetical. I have women friends who will shudder at the notion of the “GFE” as a relationship. And I know men who will shudder at the notion of paying for a companion. I suppose I should feel the same as those friends. Afterall, I’ve written about my own romantic life in detail. I’ve offered advice to men on How to Date a Virtual Woman. And I love romance as much as anyone.

So, why wasn’t I repelled by this “girlfriend experience” thing?

I can’t explain why. And I have to admit I’m strangely attracted to this type of relationship. In fact, I’ve thought about the “GFE” from time to time for several years. Maybe my experiences as a geisha help explain my attitude. As a geisha I learned how providing personal services relieves many of the tensions of traditional relationships. There is much more I could say about these unique engagements but this is a deep topic for another day. As I move forward in my escapades I hope to gain greater insight, and I’m certain I’ll explore these ideas again and again.

A Different Path

I’ve decided to become a girlfriend for hire. It’s a very different path for me. I’ve poked around, searching for information about the world of the paid girlfriends in Second Life. I’ve seen ads with the “GFE” code embedded but most of those ads appear to be misrepresentations for escort services. I expect I’ll have to find my way through the sex culture maze. I can’t even be sure there’s even a place for this type relationship in a virtual world. And I shudder at the cat calls expected from certain acquaintences. heh. Regardless of obstacles, the “GFE” idea is a path I find myself drawn toward.

, , , ,

13 Responses to “S&TVC – The Girlfriend”

  1. Ravanel Griffon
    2013/01/12 at 17:20 #

    That’s a good story, Yordie! I can see how the “GFE” attracts you. For myself, I think I’m too much like the old hopeless romantic Yordie. ^^
    Looking forward to read where your adventures bring you!

    • Yordie Sands
      2013/01/12 at 21:25 #

      Well, there is still a part of the “hopeless romantic” still in me somewhere, but I also have an unquenchable sense of adventure and i envision situations that will be romantic, sexy, sleazy, exciting, sad and generally full of surpirses. I hope I will be able to actually write about this without destroying what’s left of my reputation. Hugs

  2. Vaneeesa Blaylock
    2013/01/13 at 05:55 #

    This is an interesting direction you’ve chosen Yordie. I think the “fantasy” of the “traditional” relationship is also a pretty interesting concept. Why, in contemporary times, when we have more personal choice in our relationships than probably any other time in human history, do we also have the highest divorce rates?

    How can it be that when your marriage was arranged to something of a stranger, there was less divorce than today when we have something closer to total choice?

    On another note, the idea of sex in virtual worlds is also a pretty interesting curiosity. Sex is, after all, a proto-human urge. And these networked digital spaces are certainly starting to border on post-human milieus. So VW sex then, is using post-human technology to satisfy proto-human urges. It entirely eclipses, or circumnavigates, the human adventure.

    And then there’s the GFE. Also “interesting,” “curious,” and “strange.” I think the dichotomy of formally arranging for something that we *think* is supposed to be “natural” and “spontaneous” and “organic” and *”real”* is a powerful problematicization not just of this phenomena itself, but of the entire spectrum of our human relationships.

    The nun’s habit. The burka. The kimono. These constricting, restricting, opacifying garments are ritual, curiosity, and provocation at their finest. The bundle and range of issues here is vast. This is a space where we dance a lot because we’re afraid to come right out and say “it”… if we even know what “it” is… but whatever it is… we know it’s there… and we’re fascinated by… it…

    I admire your courage to walk down a small, dimly lit street, and have a real conversation with whatever stranger emerges from the shadow of the buildings. I, and the other “salon patrons” here at Virtual 27 Rue de Fleurus are privileged to be taken with you on your adventure.

    Are you familiar with Giorgio de Chirico’s 98 year-old painting, “Melancholy and Mystery of a Street”? You remind me a little of the young girl, venturing enthusiastically into an indeterminate future.

    http://realitybitesartblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/bite-8-giorgio-de-chirico-melancholy.html

    • Yordie Sands
      2013/01/13 at 15:42 #

      ((Oh geez… I just wrote like a long disertation, longer than you comments, and thoughtlessly I clicked on your link and wiped it all out. Wah, wah, wah… wahhhhh.))

      You’ve raised so many so many points and I hope to explore all of them and more as I make this adventure into the world of “love for sale.” But first, let me try to address the “young girl venturing enthusiastically into an indeterminate future.” That is true, but maybe it’s more like a young woman embarking on an adventure she expects to be filled with both soaring heights and deflating lows. I’ve been researching women adventurers and will be writing about that topic soon, but the “adventurer” is what I’ve found within myself in the living of my second life.

      Second Life is a place of physical safety for adventurers, but as we all know, it can be a place where your heart & soul can be ripped out. Our feelings are not safe in this world, but I’ve been around long enough to know that you are as likely to be hurt by people you know as by strangers. Our virtual world is a place where wolves live in sheeps clothing, and vice versa.

      In SL, there is free sex everywhere and for those who don’t want to have to ask for sex, there are services for sale for just about every type of sex imaginable.

      I’ll be working in the sexual culture, but I’m not likely to accept clients who only want sex. I’m not into whips and dominance and all that, so I’ll rule that out too. I can hear some saying, so what is left? hahaha.

      I beleive I have something to offer that will have great value to some men. I’m not going to reveal my trade secrets just yet though. *smiles* And I’ve already decided that I’m going to need an agent to handle all the business details. I’m not good at advertising and negotiations, so I’ll be looking for an agent right away.

      You’ve raised so many topics my head is swimming, and the topics that revolve around the nature of relationships are at the heart of my adventure. I can’t sqeeze the sex culture into a neat package, but I’m hoping to learn what happens in relationships that begin with a “girlfriend experience.” *smiles*

    • Yordie Sands
      2013/01/13 at 17:43 #

      Oh oh…. before i forget, love the Giorgio de Chirico’s 98 year-old painting, “Melancholy and Mystery of a Street” but whistle the opening to Peter & the Wolf and you got something!

  3. Lizzie Gudkov
    2013/01/13 at 20:41 #

    A virtual world offers an infinite amount of possibilities and these tend to be looked upon with caution and even suspicion. Moving towards an unknown, intriguing, challenging and exciting path is exhilarating. Looking forward to reading about your new path, Yordi!

    • Yordie Sands
      2013/01/14 at 14:45 #

      There are so many activities I’ve engaged in in SL that I’d never even try to engage in RL because they are so dangerous, especially for women. It’s all ok until you start thinking about your RL the same way you do in your SL.
      When I drove across country, I found my SL attitudes “bleed through” to my RL when I picked up The Hitcher. I was lucky that turned out ok, but it could have turned out badly. http://irez.me/2012/10/07/the-hitcher-part-1/

      • Vaneeesa Blaylock
        2013/01/15 at 03:47 #

        Good point Oh Wise One! It’s all sexy, grrl empowered Thelma & Louise action flick… till you wind up in Texas!

        • Yordie Sands
          2013/01/15 at 13:53 #

          I wish it weren’t so, but no matter how empowered we are, women that is, we need to remember that we aren’t so safe when we make ourselves vulnerable. Btw, I know Thelma & Louise took the law in their own hands and all those bad things, but I loved that movie!

          • Vaneeesa Blaylock
            2013/01/15 at 16:14 #

            I haven’t seen it in a long time but I do recall Thelma & Louise as being inspiring and charismatic.

            It’s funny, the end is, in actuality, totally depressing, but the film manages to play it in poetic, almost fantasy terms, and does its best to give you a different, almost inspired feeling there. (though as I recall I was still pretty uncomfortable then)

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. My Secret Life « Being Yordie Sands - 2013/01/13

    […] let the cat out of the bag on iRez.me a couple days ago. Shhhhh! It’s a secret because I don’t want anyone to thing badly of […]

  2. Difference Between Man and Woman : Explained Simply « Developers Corner - 2013/01/28

    […] S&TVC – The Girlfriend (irez.me) […]