Walk softly but carry a big stick

Estimated reading time: 2 minutes —

Photograph of avatar Scarlett Luv as a cyborg

Oh Hello!

DAY TO DAY

If you were to see me on the street I’d prolly not even stick in your memory… unless my son was with me in which case you might look at me with your eyes in slits and think about what a bad parent I was.  In reality, my son is autistic, with some sensory issues… so maybe the noise was too loud that day, or possibly something didn’t work out just the way he had hoped, and now you are passing me and I’m squatting with him as he’s shrieking, trying very hard not to cry as I talk softly to him trying to calm him down.

MY ESCAPE

I spend most of my free time in Second Life, and living and acting in there the way I wish I could pull off in real life.  Part brassy, a good chunk eccentric taste in clothes… but most definitely a large presence no one could miss that ever comes in contact with me.  It is soooo much easier to express myself through fashion and typing in Second Life, simply because I too share my son’s sensory issues.  If the clothes are scratchy, or too tight, I DO NOT WANT… but in Second Life my avatar fortunately doesn’t have these issues.

THE BARE BONES

I am a 36-year-old bipolar, with 3 kids… 2 are from my current husband and one is living with my ex… who lives with… drum roll please… MY PARENTS! Yes that’s right what a convoluted messed up situation THAT is, let me tell you! My parents are extremely religious so by initiating a divorce I was shunned by my family and essentially replaced by my ex. That in itself is a long story and deserving of its own post.  I would have to say my current husband rescued me from my ex who was killing my soul slowly with semi-hostile neglect.  It took many years for me to stop questioning my current if he loved me, I had been so scarred. I am grateful for all the difficulties in my life even when they make me break down, because they only make me stronger as a person.

BRUTAL HONESTY

Through life, I have become fiercely loyal and protective of the ones that are my friends, simply because when I had no one, it made me understand how important friends really are.  I would give a friend the shirt off my back, and I tend to act like a fierce mother bear when anyone hurts them.  As for my kids, the ones that live with me and have their own difficulties I do try to let them make their own mistakes and learn from them, but I often fail because I worry so much for them. I hope I can entertain you readers, and also share all the things I love with you, and even sometimes things I dislike, because life with all sugar and no lemons is very unbalanced.  I have lots to say, so please bear with me if I trip over my own words as I struggle to get my thoughts out.  My name is Scar, and I’m very pleased to meet you!

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2 Responses to “Walk softly but carry a big stick”

  1. Vanessa Blaylock
    2013/08/23 at 17:18 #

    Welcome to iRez Scar! What a powerful and honest post. I guess in both the physical world and in the virtual world you never know the complexity of a life when they first smile and say hello.

    I think my first conversation with you was when you came to decorate your virtual treadmill desk for Avatar Blogger Month. You didn’t choose the familiar sorts of touchstones that so many other avatars chose, instead you decorated your workout / blog station with giant strips of flying bacon!

    Extra crispy.

    I’d never have guessed the depth of your experiences that day, but you certainly did make an impression. And yes, it’s nice to have such a powerful “Identity Factory” to play in. I suppose RL, WoW, FB, and many others are all Identity Playgrounds. But Second Life does seem especially generous and flexible.

    Thank you for sharing your stories with us Scar.

  2. Scarlett
    2013/08/23 at 17:30 #

    its good to be here. at times its extremely depressing because my only outlet IS SL. Its just such a struggle to go out anywhere I usually give in to “not going” and because of this, I just dont have any friends in rl around here. Not to mention the huge move from the US to Canada in 06, I just have become more shut out of the “Real World”. I am grateful for having such a wonderful place to reach out to real people, and real people who not only are incredibly smart and talented, but also helpful, which is a big plus. So thanks for allowing me to share here, and no matter what, Vanessa I’ll always have your back, eveeeen though you refuse to eat bacon 😛