Supporting Parents with Autistic Kids

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes —

Even working together, its hard to fit all the pieces together

 

Keeping up with the…well, anyone, really!

Postcard family we are not.  My life revolves around my six year old who has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism.  Also in the mix is my very supportive hubby, and my youngest, a cute struggling 4 yr old who is behind but has no official diagnosis with anything yet.  I sometimes can’t wrap my had around the fact that even with dealing with my bipolar, and my son’s autism, that there is no place my husband would rather be than here with me.  He is my personal translator, and I have never met anyone more understanding of me than him.

Pure Luck?

I have to feel bad for my husband because even though we are in this together, he simply cant keep up with my Bipolar-driven manic coping skills.  Years I have worked on and perfected running for days at a time with very little sleep and managing to go through day to day life running on pure bodychemistry- created adrenalin.  The worst part I’d guess for him is being driven to exhaustion by the boys during the day then me pestering him with talking til 2 am.  Lets face it my ramblings at 2 am are not necessarily the most articulate or follow-able conversations to keep up with when you can barely keep your eyes open. Probably more like annoying background noise you can’t tune out.

I Cant Stress Enough!

I was raised by a very strict religious family.  Over the years my parents have to impress their friends with the “great” and “ground breaking work” they are doing on the “missions field”.  I simply have to roll my eyes and shake my head because no amount of trying to talk common sense to them ever gets through.  This goes for non religious folks as well.  To make a difference in the world in a POSITIVE way… a simple TWO hours of child care to help out parents of kids with disabilities like mine would be nearly a LIFE SAVER.  TWO HOURS… of FREEDOM… I value that more than anything in the world these days… I would… take a nap…. go out to dinner with my husband without kids for the first time in years! I do not have the luxury of helpful family that some might have, and being kid free for 2 hours would be like giving me a car filled with baco… I meant diamonds! 😀  I live in a different country than my family, but I probably wouldn’t count on them for help anyway because I refuse to ever ask them for help when every bit of help from them comes with a price… which is not worth paying.

What I do know…

Any one of us can start RIGHT NOW.  There is a parent in Ontario who was just subjected to hate mail regarding her autistic son, and words of encouragement could surely make a WORLD of difference to this mom’s struggle.  The letter read:

* above photo is not the actual letter but roughly what it looked like.  

He is a nuisance to everyone and will always be that way!!!!!! Who the hell is going to care for him????????? No employer will hire him, no normal girl is going to marry/love him and you are not going to live forever!! They should take whatever non retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science. What the hell else good is he to anyone!!!! You had a retarded kid, deal with it… properly!!!!! What right do you have to do this to hard working people!!!!!!!!! I HATE people like you who believe, just because you have a special needs kid, you are entitled to special treatment!!! GOD!!!! Go live in a tralier in the woods or something with your wild animal kid!!! Nobody wants you living here and they don’t have the guts to tell you!!!!!   Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!!! Either way, we are ALL better off!!!

So find that struggling parent of a special needs child…or even a single mom…lets not tear down the folks that are raising the next generation…lets lead by example…That said I have one thing to say.  My name is Christine Page, I am the mother of a 6 year old autistic boy, and Karley Begley in Ontario…I SUPPORT you! I live your struggle and I cry the same tears you do.  If there are any other mothers out there…ever needing to vent…I am here for you!

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6 Responses to “Supporting Parents with Autistic Kids”

  1. Ravanel Griffon
    2013/08/23 at 11:07 #

    Well, that’s the most disgusting letter I ever read. Nice neighbourhood. -_-

    Poor mother no doubt already being so much under stress. I hope she won’t doubt herself and sees that the person writing this letter is a complete lunatic with little love for mankind!

    And yes, people who think they are amazing for the world just because they are religious… don’t speak me of them. I’m sorry for you that your parents are like that, that must be quite hard.

    • Vanessa Blaylock
      2013/08/23 at 17:41 #

      Wait, wut? Is this really Ravanel? How can you possibly find time to read other blogs when Ravalation is cranking out, wut, like, 18 posts a week lately!? Talk about coming back from hiatus refreshed and ready to go!!

      Anyway, sorry to be silly Van in the middle of Scar’s powerful post, but it’s great to see all the new content Rav! Yay!

      • Ravanel Griffon
        2013/08/23 at 21:19 #

        I’m not always great at commenting. I usually just think something like “that’s cool” or “omg” when I read something, but that’s a bit boring to write down.

        I’m really happy you enjoy the new posts! Not sure how long I’ll be able to keep up with them with uni starting soon, but we’ll see.

  2. Scarlett
    2013/08/23 at 11:36 #

    It’s hard for me to see my “transgressions” be punished rather passive-aggressively on my kids…both sons bday who are from second husband were forgotten this year. May they never know the two faced way they are treated, especially from my mother

    • Vanessa Blaylock
      2013/08/23 at 17:52 #

      You know, South Africa locked Nelson Mandela away in prison for 27 years. Then they finally let him out. Then they elected him president. It would be nice if we could expect more and better and more consistency from our families than we seem to get from our nations. But it seems like sometimes the people you most desperately want and hope and believe should appreciate you, IDK, sometimes they just don’t.

      Have you seen this movie trailer?

      http://youtu.be/6qoaVUdbWMs

      Toward the end of the trailer the boy says to the Sam Rockwell character “My mom’s boyfriend called me a ‘3’” and he replies, “that’s got nothin to do with you, that’s about him.”

      It would be nice if everyone gave us the love and appreciation and respect that we yearn for and deserve, but sometimes they just don’t. And Sam Rockwell’s character is right, “that’s got nothin to do with you, it’s about them.”

  3. Ravanel Griffon
    2013/08/23 at 21:21 #

    That’s a great quote, and it applies very well to the letter and attitude described in the article as well. Go Scarlett!